A breakdown in communication is commonly cited as a reason marriages fail. This might lead you to conclude that you won’t be able to talk productively with your former spouse once the divorce is final.
The truth is, marital communication and post-divorce communication are very different things. With the right mindset, you might find talking to your former spouse much easier than it was during the marriage.
An Incorrect Diagnosis
How is it that two people can communicate effectively with their family, friends, co-workers, neighbors and even strangers, but are suddenly “poor communicators” in their marriage?
It’s possible that communication may not have been the issue that broke up your marriage. Your former spouse might have chosen to blame you for poor communication rather than get into details when explaining your relationship problems.
No matter what your situation, there are ways to communicate with your ex going forward.
Clear Goals, Simpler Communication
Post-divorce communication has the benefit of being straightforward. If you’re still talking to your former spouse, chances are it’s in relation to the children you’re co-parenting. There’s usually no need to discuss other issues. You can simply avoid many of the topics that caused friction in your marriage. Stick to the topics necessary to co–raise healthy, happy kids.
If you’re in the divorce process, you can most likely avoid topics that aren’t beneficial to discuss. Family courts are not a place to air all the grievances you have with your partner.
Many issues that are key to a marriage aren’t considered when it comes to the legal process of divorce. Listen to your lawyer and focus on the things that can help you get a better outcome in family court.
You Can Be a Good Communicator, Even When Your Ex Isn’t
You always have the choice to be clear, respectful and friendly in your communication, but you can’t control your former spouse’s behavior. You can’t control their messages to you. You can refuse to take the bait of a former spouse who just wants to pick a fight or hurt your feelings.
In a marriage, it’s easy to feel trapped by someone else’s poor behavior. That feeling of being trapped can easily continue after the divorce. Your ex may know exactly how to push your buttons. After the marriage, you no longer have to respond to those attempts.
No one is saying this will be easy. When someone levels accusations that are unfair and dishonest, it’s human instinct to defend yourself.
Taking the high road has several benefits. It will likely bring a quicker end to your ex trying to get a rise out of you. It can also give you the satisfaction of knowing you did the right thing. Finally, it will benefit your children by helping to calm the tension they feel now or will feel when they are older.
Call the Fort Worth Attorneys at Schneider Law Firm Today
If you’re considering divorce, you should speak with a lawyer sooner rather than later. With the right advice, you can make the divorce and post-divorce process much easier. Call our Fort Worth offices today at 817-755-1852.